You have gone. While I was in that half world between sleep and consciousness you got up, put your clothes on and left the small hotel room, shutting the door softly behind you. I was aware of you leaving and sank back into sleep, reliving the night, reliving sex like I had never had sex before, sex with the first woman I have known who was assertive, told me what she wanted, showed me the buttons to press, the first woman to guide me as I took my first steps in exploring the female body.
Does that sound odd? I am 42 after all and 15 years married. I am a father……and yet for all these years sex was a thing I did out of duty. I never got up close with a vulva, a clit, never explored these lands with my tongue, and perceived that mysterious beauty. I fucked you too, hard and brutally the way you said you wanted me too. I remember how you put a little Chardonnay on my cock and took it into your mouth, making me hard as you worked me so delicately with your tongue. This was all new to me. I had never imagined how sex could be more than something that lasted five minutes, get hard, penetrate, ejaculate and then roll over and go to sleep. Sex as a mutual exploration of bodies, sex as a source of pleasure that went far beyond the orgasm, or even how the orgasmic sensation could be heightened by taking our time, building up slowly, these were new things to me. New and delightful. Maybe I will never have sex with her again but she has taught me so much.
I reach for my cock and masturbate as I fantasise about the sex I have just had. I come and roll over to grind against the sheet as I ejaculate. I rub and grind until my groin is completely wet with my come. And here was another discovery: that the best wanks ever come after sex. Yes, we will do this again. Because we must. I text you and go for a shower.