Simply Clever

Unlike other participants I have been finishing a novella today rather writing directly for this blog but here is something inspired by a conversation earlier today. My first Smutathon 2017 post.

Not so many years ago Skoda cars were the butt of jokes like “Why do Skodas have heated rear windows?” Answer “To keep your hands warm when you’re pushing”

For Communist era Skodas were tinny affairs with noisy air cooled rear engines. They looked good…in comparison to Trabants   and Moskviches but not in comparison to ,ost western cars. They were cheap and cheerful, well cheap anyway, a kind of 1980s version  of the Proton.  Then Communism collapsed, Skoda Auto was acquired by VW and the rest is history. Skoda now make good cars, in fact better in many case than those of the parent company which has moved to restrict production of the Octavia

But I digress. The reason I  mention Skoda is that it is now public knowledge , thanks to a tweet by Coffee and Kink this afternoon, that I have had sex in three Skodas. All of these were nice modern Skodas, an old shape Fabia, a new shape Fabia and  an Octavia.

But why, you may ask, would I want to have sex in a car? I mean I live on my own, have a spacious double bed   (although the Octavia encounters took  place at a time when I didn’t) and, if you are not so near home, I could always find a cheap hotel. Thew answer is that, apart from saving money, sex in cars is fun.

It gives a real thrill because, even in the most secluded locations there is the risk of being caught. Steamed up windows and rocking are a bit of a give away. If this car sex is part of an illicit affair there is the risk of leaving a used condom, a  tissue paper reeking of come, or a stain on fabric upholstery that can’t be removed. There is the thrill of anticipation, the feeling of increasing horniness as you drive the dark lanes  looking for a suitable spot. The times when, you start to undress, then duck down as you see the headlights of a passing car.

You don’t have time  which makes the experience more intense. A minimum of foreplay and then  penetration. And the cramped conditions make  for an angle that allows deep penetration.  Car sex is quick and intense. And fun!

Car sex has enabled me to have sex in dogging sites in the Black Country, in the  car park of a medieval castle, down a lane in Oxfordshire under the embankment of the  M40 (this leaving stains on the seat), and down a number of farm tracks around Warwickhire.

And most of this sex in three little Skodas.

As they say in Czech “Simply clever”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Simply Clever

  1. Smutathon 2017: Where to find the contributors | Jerusalem Mortimer: Between the Lines

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