An Appetite for Pleasure

When I was 11 and staying at a friend’s house, we stumbled upon her father’s porn stash. We spent the afternoon leafing through these well- thumbed copies of Men Only.  At this distance in time I don’t remember a great deal about them except being fascinated by a photospread of a guy eating bananas and cream off his partner’s lady parts. And so a connection between food and sex was established in my mind. A current male lover loves to lick various sweet treats off my feet and this is as good a pedicure as I have had in any salon and delightfully erotic.

I, in my time, have greedily licked yoghurt and honey off cock, I have drawn a Cadbury’s Flake out of a girlfriend with my teeth (and soaked in pussy juice a Flake is, well, something else) and I still shudder to think to think about the mess a lover and I made of a hotel bed with a steak and kidney pie.

The point for me is that food is sensual, sex is sensual. Eating oysters is quite a bit like sucking cock, it’s just that cock is even better when your lover comes in your mouth. And like all the sensual pleasures they are predicated on mortality. I was, therefore,  little surprised a while ago to talk to a sex positive lady (and part time sex worker)   describing the way in which she had lost weight, through one of the many faddish diets.

“I haven’t eaten for 48 hours”  she said with a smile. “And I’m nor even hungry.”

Well, yes, I thought but this is missing the point. Food is not an enemy it is a pleasure to be embraced like a lover. Eat well, eat regularly just not to excess. Deny yourself nothing. Yet so many people do. And they are surely blunting their sensual appetite more generally. Deny yourself dessert  and what are you going to lick off your lover before you fuck? And how can you get properly horny and have the energy for love making without steak or oysters or a glass of wine?

I have lost three and a half stone since the beginning of 2015. I am now dress size 12 to 14 where I was once a 22. Some of this was down to running but mainly it is down to making the decision to eat well and eat regularly. Three proper meals, no snacks. Oh and room for dessert, room for cheese, room for wine.  It was while visiting friends In France that I had this idea. My friends pointed out that there are far fewer overweight people in France than in England yet most French people eat well. I had to agree.

I really can’t imagine Catherine Deneuve going 48 hours without food and not feeling hungry, still less being happy about it. So I’m just off out to buy cheese and maybe a crème brulee. And then I will see where the evening takes me.

The Rock That Doesn’t Roll

I’m still looking for the perfect diner experience. You know, the one where you were dress up in your 50s finery, all circle skirts and petticoats, jump in a classic  car and head off to a place with the perfect decors, shakes to die for, burgers that melt in your mouth. A place where you admire the period cars outside the window and where you think that, as soon as you’ve eaten, you’re going to get up and jive or swish away to your heart’s content. So my perfect diner is a place run by people who understand that the vibe is as important as the food, who know how to give vintage looking lads and lassies  not just a good meal but a couple of hours in the 1950s. Rock 66 in East Birmingham is the latest to disappoint, all the more so as, with a little care and attention to detail, it could have been good.

The diner is a small place on a corner just opposite the Aldi at Ward End, where Alum Rock Road meets the Outer Circle. A trek into the East Birmingham Badlands for me. First impressions are not bad. Décor wise it looks like a proper diner and if the colour scheme is a bit odd at least you feel encouraged as you sit down. .

And the food really wasn’t bad, at least to begin with. My shake was good, thick and creamy, making me glad I’d been for a run earlier to burn up the calories, whilst my partner and I shared a starter of king prawns fried in breadcrumbs that was just about perfect, crispy, tasty and brought to the table piping hot.   The burgers didn’t quite reach those heights but were satisfactory, if not much more than that.

But what about the vibe? This was the big disappointment. The service was desultory and inattentive and I really don’t appreciate having to try to attract the attention of the waiting staff every time I want something.  Should I really have to ask for the menu if I want to order a dessert?

Did I say the décor looked reasonably authentic? Well two televisions playing MTV were really out of place. This is where imagination and attention to detail come in. How about a period jukebox? How about some proper period music? I asked about this and was met with blank looks. And this is the problem with Rock 66. It is run by people who are really going through the motions, who don’t feel the vintage vibe as you and I do, people who don’t have it in their soul. So it may (Alum) Rock but it just doesn’t roll.

Verdict: I would eat there again if I happened to be in the area but it is not worth a special journey. Score 5 out of 10