SoSS April – The Lockdown Edition

April has been the month of lockdown. I have managed to do a lot of writing, and also a lot of reading. There can be no writing without reading and am sure that reading so many excellent posts has spurred my creativity. It appears that lockdown has spurred the creativity of many other bloggers too. In saying that I am very much aware that are many fine writers for whom lockdown has had the opposite effect. If you are one of them, know that I am thinking of you. We all have periods of block and I do not take my current creativity for granted. I see it as a gift, unsightly, maybe undeserved, but a gift.  And if you are experiencing block , or lack of inspiration, I want to share it with you. There has been a lot to like this month so please bear with me. This is a longer roundup than  normal.

There are plenty of female dominants on the kink scene and quite a few femsubs.  But I don’t come very often come across submissive women who submit to dominant women. And this is something that has fascinated me ever since the time when people watching at the BBB, as you do, I watched a young D/S couple, observed their dynamic, their intuitive understanding of each other. For the first time I realised that the submission of wmen to woman is a thing of beauty. This is why I am an avid reader of the blog of ML Slave Puppet. This post was not directly about being a femsub but a really useful review of LGBTQI literature and  how it helps self understanding.

Deviant Succubus is always worth reading. And I love this about how a pansexual woman doesn’t identify as LGBTQ. I could say more about labels and how they constrict as well as liberate but that is one for anther day after I have dome some more thinking on the subject.

This by a Mental Switch (a new name to me) was an interesting take on masturbating for the entertainment of a dominant.  This is a blog I will certainly be revisiting.

One meme I have yet to contribute to but really need to get around to is Lingerie for Everyone, all the more so as I have a collection of nice repro vintage lingerie, in the context of which I can thoroughly recommend What Katie Did. You even get a cup of tea and a biscuit when you visit the shop. I loved this from Violet Love although I found it painful to look at (not because of the pegged labia but because it reminded me of the many things that locked down Eve can’t enjoy).

Smutathon 2020 is provisionally scheduled for Scotland in September but, at the time of writing, there really is no way of knowing if it will be able to go ahead. The Smutathon regulars are getting together virtually to write for two hours on Wednesday evenings and this is helping a number of us to get our mojos back in these difficult times. It has certainly worked for Exhibit A who wrote this on the first Wednesday of the month.

Which leads me on to The Other Livvy who has been writing some interesting and thought provoking posts on how her sexual self has been affected by pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood. This for me is her best post yet on the subject.

And motherhood is a nice segue on to Francesca Demont , a new mother locked down in New York which, frankly, must be scary. But she is making the best of it as this post shows.

One of the big disappointments of March was not being able to meet up with Jayne Renault. As she says she has been quiet on the writing scene for a few months but thispost about writers’ block and self care, and just pampering and loving yourself, was incredibly rich. There is so  much here that I will need to read it again a couple of  times.

I could relate to these reflections on mental health and sleep and interiority by May More. I am actually sleeping much better during the lockdown but this may be because working from home enables me to keep hours that are more in synch with my internal  clock. But like May I have, and need, worlds of my own to escape to.

And staying with May, she wrote this fab story about the sexy challenges of having  your  partner working from home all day when normally they aren’t.

I will be discussing rope in a future post and have really enjoyed the wonderful artistic ties that some bloggers have managed to do on themselves, such as this harness by Molly.

What to do when you’rs tick at home on your own? Well you can follow the example of Pain as Pleasure and Dig for Victory.

Easter Sunday was an odd day wasn’t it? But some bloggers managed to keep a bit of the seasonal spirit. I rather liked Exposing 40’s Easter bunny.

This, by MxNillin was just well……..fucking hot!

And following on from a post by MxNillin I have to mention the issue that has been causing some friction within the sex blogging community. It was on Tuesday 14th April that I was made aware of a post from the 29th February and which had passed me by. This post by Inigo More has sparked a heated debate and a lot of acrimony. It has raised the issue of transphobia. I am going to link to two posts which give contrasting points of view.  Here is Kayla Lords    and here is an equally forthright piece from Melody Insights.  A number of people have messaged me privately to ask what I think and I have had a couple of lengthy conversations with people in which I have set out my perspective and explained why I think some people have reacted in the way they did. I will be blogging abut this but my mental health isn’t great at the moment and I want to wait until passions have cooled.

I was reminded by a tweet by a London based pro domme I chat to online about Club Pedestal which I went o a couple of years ago and quite enjoyed even if it is more of  a show off your shiny latex event than a proper lay event. So, with pedestals in mind, this post from Love is a Fetish kind of leapt off the screen at me.

ML Slave Puppet continues to write thought provoking things on kink. This, about shame and its dual aspect, shame at being kinky, and shame as a form pf play within kink, with the twist (which I hadn’t really thought about before) of arousal through humiliation play being itself a source of humiliation, is one of her best posts yet. If you are into BDSM, or just curious, this is a must read blog.

Sinful Sunday continues to be a source of sauciness (sorry) and a much needed morale boost. I enjoyed this by Exposing 40

Wicked Wednesday 412 was about Lockdown. Whilst there is no need to write to the theme (and my post that week didn’t), most bloggers did. I have chosen this post by Old Mike to feature in this roundup as it is by a sex worker client who writes about the awful predicament that sex workers currently find themselves in, To be clear, sex worker led groups, such as SWARM who are mentioned here, are organisations to help.  The self-appointed saviours, whose hearts bleed for “prostituted women” are doing nothing. Nada. Rien. Fuck all. Fuck them!

The final Sinful Sunday of April again had some interesting, well fun actually, images, such as this from Pain as Pleasure.

I have lined to a couple of rope posts earlier and have a blog post abut rope pending but I totally loved this from Sub Bee.

My collaboration with Posy Churchgate on the 1950s schooldays of Delphine continues. Here is Posy’s latest chapter which sets the bar high for my next chapter, which I will be posting next week.

This month’s petrolhead porn can only be Sir Stirling Moss who died on Easter Sunday. Here he is winning the 1958 Argentine Grand Prix. RIP Sir Stirling

And I will also be reading your blog posts, your smut and posting my roundup at the end of May. Until then stay safe. Above all, be kind to each other and treat each other with respect. 

SoSS – March

In the month that was to have been dominated by Eroticon, and for which I spent quite a bit of time preparing,  I still managed to find time for reading and here is a selection of things that I particularly enjoyed.

Following the various memes  gives me the opportunity to discover new blogs and I am so pleased to have discovered The Artful Muse via Sinful Sunday . I love this image.

Wax play is something I haven’t done a lot of in the course of my kink career but I have seen how, done well, it is art. Like this from Purple’s Gem

Body positivity is always good to read about and particularly when it comes after a period of negativity. I am sure we could all love our bodies more. This  is the story of how one blogger learned to love her body.

Sinful Sunday is an unending source of delights. I am always amazed at how inventive people are. And there are always pictures that just grab your attention and you can’t take your eyes off them. Like this from Little Switch Bitch.

Or this from Marie Rebelle

Every thing by Victoria Blisse is worth reading but this was lovely.

ML Slave Puppet has posted some weirdly hot pics of her kink journey and the tasks set for her. I particularly enjoyed this floral tribute.

And so to lockdown which has cut many of us from actual physical contact with our lovers and kink play partners.  A reflection here from This Girl and here from Exposing 40

I guess many of us are missing hugs at the moment and hugs was the theme  of the most recent Wicked Wednesday. One highlight was this by Purples Gem which features possibly the most amazingly erotic picture I have ever seen.

And I had hoped to read more and feature more posts but, like all of you, have had to radically reorganise my life this month and this has affected my reading and writing. But I will be resuming normal service next month. I need it now more than ever and my connections with you wonderful sexy people the main thing keeping me out of a very dark place. Thank you for coming here to read my thoughts, thank you for giving me wonderful things to read. My love to you all.

And the car porn for March is something a little different. There are apparently plans fro Formula One cars to have two stroke engines in a few years time. There are, I am told, sound technical reasons for this but I will forever associate two stroke engines with   cars like this (OK a sporty version)

 

Eroticon 2020 – Meet and Greet

It is nearly that time again – sexy Christmas when I learn a lot, drink too much, and get to hang out with some of the most amazing, talented and sexy people I know. As usual, Molly has invited us to do a virtual Meet and Greet. Here is mine:

NAME (and Twitter if you have one)

Eve Ray and I tweet at @EveRay1

Tell us 3 things you are most looking forward to at Eroticon 2020

  1. My speaking debut…..a bit of apprehension too but I have run parts of it past people and the jokes seem to work. Have I set myself up to fail now?
  2. Friday night. It is such a lovely thing when the faces of people you love and admire light up when they see you and you know they are not faking it. And a hug from Drew is just the loveliest thing!
  3. Meeting new people and learning new things. This is my 7th Eroticon and several of the people I used to talk to regularly, especially in the Bristol days, no longer come.  But there are always new faces and it is brilliant that so many of the new faces contribute so much and have such an impact. Is it really only 3 years ago that Coffee and Kink turned up as a nervous newbie? Seeing how she has blossomed as a writer and blogger reminds me of what this event can do for people and, indeed, what it has done for me.

Sadly with a change of venue this year for the Friday night meet and greet we won’t be compiling a play list but I know that everyone enjoys that bit so…. What is a song that always makes you want to dance?

 

Maybe not dance but had there been a playlist I would have wanted to commemorate Ian Dury who died on 27th March 2000. And his smuttiest song is undoubtedly Billericay Dickie. “She took me to the cleaners and other misdeameanours” . Actually I think I could dance to this!,

What is the best book you have read in the last 12 months?

Not an easy read but Milkman by Anna Burns, set in a nationalist area of Belfast during the Troubles and an insight into the oppressive, claustrophobic and deeply misogynistic environment that people had to live in, where women’s lives were closely policed, where the narrator is regarded with deep suspicion  as a woman who reads literary fiction and attends a French class in the city centre, where she meets people from the “other side” .A difficult read but a worthwhile one.

As you sit writing this post what are three things you are grateful for?

1. The friends who keep me from black despair in these desperate times for all of us who value freedom, tolerance and diversity.

2. Health and a full head of hair.

3.  The mysteries of evolution that led from the primordial soup to the female body and the unfathomable beauty of the vulva. And that we now have a museum to celebrate this.

What is your mobile (cellphone) wallpaper or home screen image?

Marlene Dietrich in a Dior turban and the most exquisite leather gloves. But you know that my heart will always belong to her don’t you?

If someone gave you £5000 today which you were not allowed to save but had to spend within 24 hours what would you do with it?

Buy a Triumph Dolomite Sprint (which is still just about possible)

Complete the sentence:

I need.

A house with a wine cellar and a walk in wardrobe.

Image preview

SoSS – Brexit Edition

So 2020, I was really not looking forward to you for reasons most of my readers will be aware of. As we approach Brexit day I can’t help reflecting that Brexit is not really about the actual institution of the European Union but rather about using an imagined EU as a focus for a wide variety of grievances, with the aim of enabling a populist, authoritarian and socially conservative remodelling of our country and its institutions. This cannot be a good thing for those who identify as kinky, LGBTQ, or sex positive, notwithstanding that we have a Prime Minister who just can’t keep his cock in his trousers whenever he comes across a woman daft enough to want to sleep with him.

The last three years have taken a toll on my mental health, and not only mine. I totally recommend this post for the New Year by Posy who writes about January here

It was 6 years ago that I set foot in the fet scene thinking I was probably a sub. Just three months later a lady I met in a club evidently spotted something in me and invited me to join her in administering a spanking. This was a lifechanging  event and consequently I can very much relate to Nikki’s experience. She writes about her first femdom experience here.

Female submission is still a bit of an alien world to me even though I have got to know a number of femsubs both on the scene and through Eroticon and I  enjoy reading things written from a femsub perspective. I have had submissive women ask me for play and, in fact, have played on one occasion. But I do struggle to get into the dynamic even I find the idea really hot. It is said that reading can be both a genuine enhancement of experience and a means of self understanding. This  by Submissy is brilliant and the picture is just amazing.

It has been a while since I got around to visiting Victoria Blisse’s blog and I do love a poem.

And it is January, the longest, dreariest month, so it is nice to be reminded that summer is not so far away and Master’s Pleasing Bitch does it most enjoyably here

Now many of you will know that Posy Churchgate and I are good mates, sister in smut (and champagne!), in fact, and I really admire her writing. I make no apology for plugging her work on this blog and she is getting another mention this month.  This,  by a strange irony on the Sisters in Smut blog, is simply the best thing she has written.

There have been a number of reflective and thought provoking posts this months and The Other Livvy posted this amazing piece on sex after childbirth

I love pictures with a touch of humour so this by Molly really appealed to me.

Since emerging as a dominant on the fet scene I have explored a number of new kinks so I can relate to this by Floss

And this description of a visit to a pro dommme for an introduction to CP is also something I can totally relate to.  And I am so glad that MLSlavePuppet had such a positive experience.

There were a number of brilliant posts for Wicked Wednesday 400 including  the piece I have linked to above. I also enjoyed Love Lust London’s  excursion to mediaeval France  

and anything by Eye is worth a read such as this . I can say that I have experienced every one of the fears and insecurities she mentions. I will say two things. I first spoke to Eye at my first Eroticon 2014 and we have been in regular contact ever since. I admire her as a brilliant writer, as a woman who  is an inspiration to all older women. Sexy after the M word? You bet and you can be fucking hot too. I also admire her for her strength. She has had a lot of shit to put up with and has come out fighting. She is a valued member of our community. But this is a community that values all its members.  And before I get on to my monthly dose of car porn for you my parting thought is this:

The 31st January 2020 will not go down as an auspicious day in the history of our country. It marks a triumph of populist demagoguery over reason, lies over truth, prejudice over tolerance. It marks, too, the arrival of US style culture wars on our shores. For our community of bloggers, many of whom are LGBT or kinky or poly or a combination of these, who embrace an ethical and positive approach to sex, who celebrate all forms of consensual sexuality  as a source of joy and liberation, there are dark times ahead. We must stick together, for we need each other. TOGETHER WE ARE STRONG

And what of car porn? Going back to 1980 one of the cars I desired was the Mk 2 Ford Escort RS2000 which ceased production that year. But I also had a soft spot for the Talbot Sunbeam Lotus, a worthy successor to the Ford/Lotus collaborations of a decade earlier. Here  are three of them in the 1980 RAC Rally with some amazing driving by winner Henri Toivonen.

Last Piece In The Jigsaw

This is the 400th Wicked Wednesday and Marie has asked me to take part via a tweet so it would be wrong not to. So I have a few reflections on the last 8 years of my life and how the jigsaw fell into place, how the pieces of sex, kink and vintage fashion came together in unexpected ways.

Sexual intercourse was discovered in 1963 according to Philip Larkin, not too late for me as I was one year old at the time. However, it took until 2012 for sex to become a defining interest. I don’t know why. I just had an urge one day to write a smutty story. By the end of the year I had started this blog and begin to engage with like-minded people online. In March 2013 I spent a weekend at the computer reading live tweets from Eroticon and wondering why I wasn’t there. I put that right the following year. I began to experiment with my own sexuality and get a feeling for how restricting my previous cisheteronormative assumptions had been. There were world to be discovered and I am enjoying the journey of discovery, knowing that I have barely scratched the surface.

Kink wise I soon began to move on from my initial assumption that I must be a submissive.  It was one Saturday afternoon in April 2014 that I attended a spanking party at a club. After giving me an enjoyable flogging, the house domme invited me to join her in dealing with her next spankee. And I loved it, every bit of it, holding the implements in my hand,  teasing my victim, making the most satisfying thud as the paddle landed. MY kink life would never be the same again. This tied in perfectly with my changing gender identity. From femdom I embarked on a journey that led back to femdom. This is my home on the kink scene.

You won’t have met Claire yet but you will soon. She is my favourite character in my writing, a sassy girl of 21 who lives the vintage life 24/7 and likes sex. In my story she embarks on a man hunt and has lots of sex on the way, some good, some disastrous. But always in a 50s outfit, and often on the vinyl (very handy!) seats of her 1959 Ford Zodiac. When I began the story I knew very little about vintage fashion so I started reading Vintage Life magazine, joining  Facebook groups and, before long, I had a couple of Vivien of Holloway dresses and had attended my first meetups, meeting wonderful ladies who are now amongst my best friends. And this is not an add on to my sexual side. It is part of me. the whole me. After I first attended a fet event in a vintage dress I received a lovely message on Fetlife from a friend who said that, for her, that dress was the final piece in the jigsaw.

Actually not quite. That came when I headed to Bristol  for my first Eroticon and met so may amazing writers and bloggers in the flesh and realised that I had found a new family.  Which is why I am here now, still blogging away, and looking forward to my seventh  Eroticon. And to think I didn’t do any of this until I turned 50.

Dear reader, however old you are, it is never too late to put your own jigsaw into place. I wish you luck.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

DIVA Days

A week ago, a grey plastic package arrived in the post. I ripped it open to find my first subscriber copy of Diva magazine. I suppose it is a sad reflection of our times that it is necessary for the magazine to be sent out in such packaging, in a way that my copies of Private Eye are not. But shame and stigma are still the lived experience of many LGBT people. And this is something I can relate to. It was seven years ago that I bought my first copy, blushing furiously as I approached the till.  There are still shops where DIVA is tucked away far from the women’s lifestyle magazines where it really belongs

I soon fell in love with the magazine, with its varied and interesting features, its high quality of writing, (OK they are still to accept a pitch from me but I live in hope!)   , but above all for its generosity and inclusiveness. For DIVA is both bi- and trans- positive. This stance, particularly on trans issues, has brought it a lot of criticism, and has alienated some long-term readers, but the editors, Jane Czyzelska and for the last year or so, Carrie Lyell, have stuck to their guns. And then there were the amazing sex issues. I have kept all of these, there were hot photoshoots, one of which inspired a story on this blog, there was flash fiction, there were features from which I learnt so much. For a time, the amazing Anna Sansom was sex editor. Anna is the best friend I have never met. We have been engaging online for over 7 years now, she encouraged in the early days of my blog, and was a virtual ear for my experiences as I belatedly discovered myself sexually and began to explore BDSM.  It was Anna who made me aware of Fetlife. And Anna, if you are reading this, 2020 will be the year we finally meet. If you don’t make it to Eroticon I will be heading down your way. It is high time we had coffee and cake together, or maybe gin?

Anna gets a mention in the current issue because the sex edition is back after an absence of a few years. And it is a brilliant issue, not least because it includes the sexual experiences of those for whom sex is unusually problematic, transgender, genderqueer and intersex people. There was much that I can relate to my own experience. Reading it, I became aware of how much I have grown in the few years and how much Diva has helped me on my journey. I feel genuine excitement when I open a new issue, I feel too a sense of belonging to a community of amazing women.

The only downside is that I tend to read it in one sitting and then feel empty until the next one arrives. If you have never read it, do. You will not regret it, however you identify in terms of gender or sexuality. For as they headlined my letter many years ago,

“Diva is for everyone.”

Let’s Get Together The Two of Us over a Glass Of Champagne

sang Sailor in their 1976 hit.  I have never really liked the song but it has that annoying habit some songs do of burrowing their way into your brain and refusing to leave. Another thing is that drinking champagne is something I really only do with girlfriends and is not linked, for me at least, to romance and sex.

So it seemed right to arrange to meet Posy Churchgate for our latest smutty sister outing at the St. Pancras Champagne Bar, watching the trains and admiring the wonderful architecture as we drank and chatted and gave a silent thank you to the late Sir John Betjeman who played a key role in saving this magnificent station and hotel from being bulldozed by British Rail and replaced by a replica of Euston.

Suitably refreshed we set off for Camden Market and the brand new Vagina Museum where we joined the crowds in the small exhibition space to take a peek at the inaugural exhibition. The Museum’s mission is to educate and inform, and this to empower, particularly empower the half of the human race with vulvas in not feeling shame, in promoting their own sexual health, in their quest for better sex through knowing how their bodies work. Empowered too to resist attempts to persuade them that their vaginas are dirty or smelly and need to be cleaned with soaps and lotions and creams. They don’t and some of the products  displayed on a kind of Shelf of Shame were frankly stomach churning. The very existence of vaginal tightening creams give eloquent testimony to the misogyny of the main stream adult industry.

The museum is not just about this though and locates its mission in the wider context of  feminism, LGBTQ+ positivity and trans inclusivity. It will be holding events too, including a Shabat meal for queer Jewish women next Friday.  In fact I would love to have come down this coming weekend too, both for that and for the following night’s launch party.

I will visit again soon when it is a bit quieter and I can have some time for reflection in what it all means to me. I thought a lot about period sex and shared some of my thoughts with Posy. I will return to this in a post when i have thought some more.

We finished up with a few drinks in a nearby pub where we met up with a few Eroticon friends. Another fabulous day with the sex blogging family. And more interesting conversation with Posy. We got on to true crime and talked bout the tragic Edith Thompson  who I have written about here.

There are now less than four months until we meet again at Eroticon and I am sure we will have even more to talk about then! In the meantime I will raise a glass (of Cava actually) and drink to sisterhood. I hope you will join me.

 

 

SoSS – October

It is Saturday 19th October as I write. I am listening anxiously for news of the votes in Parliament on you know what. But there is good news, one part of which I will turn to later. For bow I ma very happy that we stuffed the Aussies in the rugby this morning.

Here are some things that I have enjoyed reading over the last couple of weeks. I was a late comer to anal sex and them mainly in a BDSM context.  I ave both given and received and there is nothing like it for making the recipient feel vulnerable. In the right headspace it can release powerful emotions. May More discussed anal here in the context of a post that looks into wider consent issues.

Sweet girl talks about the emotional aspects of anal here.

I enjoyed this story by Posy Churchgate.

Three weeks ago I was busy with Smutathon I have still not got round to reading more than a handful of the 49 posts. I will feature more  of them in a future post. This week I enjoyed this by The Other Livvy and this poem by Quinn Rhodes.

Photography is something I used to enjoy but these days rarely have time for. Some thirty years ago I bought a Minolta x300, my very first SLR camera, and for a few years I  took t wt me everywhere.   These days I tend to be on the opposite side of the camera. I found this by Exposing 40, she who exposed my 57 a few months ago.

And now the good news. This week the Government announced that age verification for accessing online porn was to be abandoned after being deferred several times. They had been told by those with expertise in the area that it would be unworkable. This is apart from issues of privacy, of the security of personal data, of the effect on niche and ethical porn,  (much of it produced by women.)

Read more here:

As ever I am finishing with car porn.As a vintage girl I own a 1958 Ford Prefect 100E, the perfect car for a summer’s day in a circle dress,  and here is the official launch film for the range from 1953,

 

Out of Body Experiences

This piece was written for Smutathon 2019 on 28th September 2019 and originally posted on smutathon.com . Please visit the site if you haven’t already. There is a lot of fabulous content.

Many years ago, in a student bar, a friend asked a strange question
“Why do you have to transport your body when you want to go anywhere?”
We laughed. I mean, the answer is obvious isn’t it? And yet, the question has remained with me over the years. I imagine it has remained with my friend too. He moved to Seattle shorty after graduating and has had a successful career in Artificial Intelligence research. Simple, naïve questions sometimes turn out to be the most fruitful and I am sure Peter’s habit of coming up with these questions has inspired his research.

For me, as a writer, it has proved to be a fruitful question. It has helped me to think more deeply about my writing and how it has enabled me to travel to places and times I could not otherwise visit, to inhabit other, different bodies (something I touched on in my last post) and to think in different ways about my own body, my own materiality, and that particular bit of spacetime in which the material Eve finds herself.
I had actually planned to be in a different bit of spacetime today as I had originally planned to be at the main event in Montreal. Instead I sit at home in the rainy English Midlands with woe and honey cake, listening to The Cure as I write. Yet I am in Montreal with a bunch of people I love and admire. We may not be physically present to each other but wed are together, we are there for each other today. Some of my posts will be about Canada so I will be travelling and exploring without transporting my body. Just as well as it aces like anything today (I am in training for a half marathon).
How does this relate to sex? After all there is nothing more body centred than sex is there? Even solos sex needs a body. And yet we are able to interact sexually with people who are not physically present to us. There is phone sex, obviously, web camming and so on. There is also writing. I engage with my characters, and some of them are hot in ways that never made it on to the page. This does not mean I fantasise about them as I masturbate. For me, the act of thinking about them, just holding them before me can be sexually charged. I pour sexual energy into my writing. And also into my reading. There is an aspect to reading and writing erotica that I had never considered until I read Enjoy Sex by Meg John Barker and Justin Hancock a couple of years ago. This is that through reading and writing we interact sexually with our writers and readers. When I post a story, I am inviting you, dear reader, to enter my house of eroticism, maybe not the whole house, but a room or two, all with large windows and nice views. And If you like what you read, if it fuels your fantasies, then we have connected sexually. Not with our bodies, but with our minds. I may never know who you are, we may never be in the same bit of spacetime, but the connection is real. I value it. I hope you do too.
Today you have the opportunity to interact with a lot of clever, sexy people here at smutathon.com I hope you enjoy what you read and that you will feel able to make a donation to the cause of abortion rights in the United States that Smutathon2019 is supporting. And pause, too, to reflect on the potential richness of a naïve question.

In Search of the Zipless Fuck…..Or Not

I suppose I am not much like Erica Jong’s heroine and I doubt I will be any more successful in finding the zipless fuck than she was. Nonetheless reading Fear of Flying some years ago coincided with a new relationship and some amazing sex and got me thinking in a new way about female sexuality.  I will correct that. It got me thinking about female sexuality as something that I couldn’t just take for granted, couldn’t make simple assumptions that it was like mine.

As I reflected on this I became acutely aware that it was a mystery and, however much was revealed by individual partners in lovemaking, it would, to a great event, always be a mystery. This, of course, is a good thing. Where there is no mystery there can be no true eroticism. And yet I needed to know more. I sometimes sat alone, shutting my eyes, replaying in my head the previous night’s lovemaking, and trying to imagine how it was for her.

And the mystery of female sexuality has hung over my transition, it has fuelled my lovemaking with women sine I began my transition, my beautiful adventures in sex without penetration, my growing appreciation of the beauty of the vulva, my realisation, delighted realisation, that there were further mysteries  behind the mysteries.

Before then I had begun to write and blog. I am sure I am not the only writer about sex who writes to explore tings she cannot directly experience, to pursue things that must always be elusive, although close enough to tease and tantalise. It is lovely that people enjoy my writing, and wonderful beyond words when when tell me that they found a story hot or could identify with a particular character.  However, I write ultimately for myself, and don’t imagine that the reaction of women to my writing means that I am any closer to grasping the mystery and laying it bare.

I wouldn’t want to do this, even it were possible.  My transition has been driven by sex, my blogging is an attempt to make sense of it all. I am on a journey whose destination I don’t know. And that is fine for me. I am enjoying the journey too much to want it to end.

I am continuing my journey this Saturday at Smutathon, where I will be joined by a number of other brilliant writers.   And to donate to or chosen cause this year click on the image below.

Goal Thermometer