The Only Sex I Ever Wanted

I am one of the rare exceptions. I was a virgin when I got married. And I wasn’t in a hurry to have sex with a woman. I mean, I had always wondered what it must be like and I felt a bit of a freak because I had never penetrated a woman. I would sit on the bus to work, observe other men reading … Continue reading The Only Sex I Ever Wanted

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

This is my entry for the Euphoff competition for deliberately bad erotica. I hope you find it as dreadful as I do. For more awfulness have a look here If your love sausage performed, if your manmeat assuaged her voracious sexual appetite, Tiffany would invite you to stay the night and cook her breakfast, a feast of bacon and eggs and black puddings that broke … Continue reading Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Setting Sail

This is my entry for the 2018 Euphoff competition devoted to seriously bad erotic writing, run by the fabulous Other Livvy. This is the worst I could come up with. Check out the other entries here             I have crested many a range, conquered veritable Himalayas of female voluptuousness, scaled the mountains of desire, reaching for bright galaxies of ecstasy even as I plunged into  the … Continue reading Setting Sail