Vile Bodies

No, not mine, and not necessarily yours. After three months without physical contact I have lost interest in other bodies. I used to love the feel of another’s skin, the stubble of a man brushing against my cheek as I kissed him, the smell of arousal, even the aroma of sweat as I made love on a muggy evening, the taste of a bell end glistening with pre-come as I took it into my mouth, the musk of a cunt, juicy with arousal, the joy of burying my face in lush pubic hair as I go down on her, the feel of her tongue against my finger as she licks her juice.

All these things I have enjoyed, and my body in turn has given pleasure to my lovers. And yet it all seems so long ago, no more real than  the smut I read, the stories I write. The stories. I have moved my sex life into my head, I write and write and write, not always for publication, but always to get off, to experience the orgasms that come from the mind, to make sense of all those bodies and the things I did with them, before everything is lost.

I am used to this now. The urge to write is irresistible, I fear the bodies, imperfect as mine is imperfect, sweaty as mine is sweaty, sagging as mine sags, that will come between me and my imagination. I think them vile, I push them away. But I cannot do this for ever.  My lover today sent me a picture of his cock, as yet untasted by me. But taste it I will, for I must. It took me decades to love my body, nearly as long to love the bodies of others. The language of these bodies is another language, once foreign, still not entirely familiar. I cannot afford to forget it.

5 thoughts on “Vile Bodies

  1. Oh, I love your use of description Eve. You use just enough and it creates this wonderful image and sense as if we’re with you.
    The thing you’re writing about though, how things are rather strange now, and no longer wanting that physical contact anymore is exactly how I feel too. I wonder if this is how we adapt because otherwise, we might go crazy longing for it too much?
    And a good thing does come out of it, your urge to write!

  2. Excellent post Eve – so real and i think everyone can resonate with this – so many things have gone inside our heads – our imaginations running riot with them
    May x

  3. Shining a Light on 4Thoughts or Fiction Meme - 4 THOUGHTS or FICTION

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