SoSS – March

In the month that was to have been dominated by Eroticon, and for which I spent quite a bit of time preparing,  I still managed to find time for reading and here is a selection of things that I particularly enjoyed.

Following the various memes  gives me the opportunity to discover new blogs and I am so pleased to have discovered The Artful Muse via Sinful Sunday . I love this image.

Wax play is something I haven’t done a lot of in the course of my kink career but I have seen how, done well, it is art. Like this from Purple’s Gem

Body positivity is always good to read about and particularly when it comes after a period of negativity. I am sure we could all love our bodies more. This  is the story of how one blogger learned to love her body.

Sinful Sunday is an unending source of delights. I am always amazed at how inventive people are. And there are always pictures that just grab your attention and you can’t take your eyes off them. Like this from Little Switch Bitch.

Or this from Marie Rebelle

Every thing by Victoria Blisse is worth reading but this was lovely.

ML Slave Puppet has posted some weirdly hot pics of her kink journey and the tasks set for her. I particularly enjoyed this floral tribute.

And so to lockdown which has cut many of us from actual physical contact with our lovers and kink play partners.  A reflection here from This Girl and here from Exposing 40

I guess many of us are missing hugs at the moment and hugs was the theme  of the most recent Wicked Wednesday. One highlight was this by Purples Gem which features possibly the most amazingly erotic picture I have ever seen.

And I had hoped to read more and feature more posts but, like all of you, have had to radically reorganise my life this month and this has affected my reading and writing. But I will be resuming normal service next month. I need it now more than ever and my connections with you wonderful sexy people the main thing keeping me out of a very dark place. Thank you for coming here to read my thoughts, thank you for giving me wonderful things to read. My love to you all.

And the car porn for March is something a little different. There are apparently plans fro Formula One cars to have two stroke engines in a few years time. There are, I am told, sound technical reasons for this but I will forever associate two stroke engines with   cars like this (OK a sporty version)


Nights at the Taj

It was just 13 days ago that I last had a curry at my favourite Indian restaurant in Birmingham but that seems an age ago as I write. It could many months before I go here again. And I will miss the Chicken Rezala as much as I will miss my own personal stash of Wolf Blass Chardonnay, not on the wine list but kept specially for me and those lucky enough to go there with me. For the service I receive here is second to none.

A restaurant called the Taj Mahal  founded in 1962, as the sign proudly proclaims, should have flock wallpaper and have Chicken Tikka Madras as the signature dish. No doubt it did at one time but that was long before I discovered it with a girlfriend some years ago. The decor these days is bright and contemporary and the menu has a range of dishes that were unknown when I first went to curry houses nearly 40 years ago.

I mention it here as it is where I go or a quiet chat with my slave once a month, schedules permitting.  We have the Wolf Blass, we have our own discreet table out of sight, and earshot, of anybody else, and we talk kink and the stuff we do together with surprising freedom  for a vanilla location. He has a fantasy about drinking my champagne in public, in the restaurant, but we haven’t managed that yet. But there are many different and subtle ways in which I can exercise dominance over him that nobody watching would even notice.  And so The Taj Mahal is more than a friendly restaurant for us, it is a safe space.

As I left two weeks ago the manager said to me “you are not just a customer to us, you are a friend.”   And I will miss my friends over the coming months. But when my slave and I go there again I think we just may have champagne to celebrate.

A post about food. You can find more bloggers musing on eating out here

Not Eroticon

At 2.35 this afternoon I had expected to be starting, a little nervously,  my presentation on masturbation at Eroticon 2020 . Instead I was returning home after getting my boots reheeled at the local cobbler. After a cup of tea and a cigarette I put the Christmas decorations away in the loft. It has really taken me that long  to get round to it! Earlier I met my Portuguese friend Carlos for lunch on his birthday and the chana masala at our favourite curry pub was rather good, The pub is close to The Hawthorns and today, which would have been a matchday, it would normally have been standing room only. My order, placed an hour and a half after opening time, was order number 4 which shows how quiet the pub was. Everywhere has been eerily quiet the last couple of days. It is as if everyone is hibernating waiting for the apocalypse. I feel a pervasive anxiety I cannot shake off.

I was so looking forward to Eroticon , to hanging out with my people, to drinking from the well of awesomeness that it represents for me, and others,  and recharging my sex blogging batteries for the coming months So I was bitterly disappointed when Eroticon was cancelled. I cried, and I was not the only one I am sure. I should make it clear that I fully support  Molly and Michael’s; decision  to cancel. They really had no other option and I know that the pain they feel is greater than mine.

But every cloud as they say,  has a silver lining. I chatted to a number of Eroticon friends online and felt so much better. Smutathon 2020 is being organised, I have a meetup with Posy Churchgate in the diary and maybe, just maybe, there may be another meetup in Birmingham in the summer. For Eroticon is much more than a conference. It is a community.

Tonight the plan was to go to Poppy’s in Camden with Posy for fish and chips, vintage style and I definitely planned not to get mushy peas over my dress this year! But I am having fish and chips at home instead, and I have prosecco. I will raise a glass to Posy. I will raise a glass to all of you. Until the next time!

Eroticon 2020 – Meet and Greet

It is nearly that time again – sexy Christmas when I learn a lot, drink too much, and get to hang out with some of the most amazing, talented and sexy people I know. As usual, Molly has invited us to do a virtual Meet and Greet. Here is mine:

NAME (and Twitter if you have one)

Eve Ray and I tweet at @EveRay1

Tell us 3 things you are most looking forward to at Eroticon 2020

  1. My speaking debut…..a bit of apprehension too but I have run parts of it past people and the jokes seem to work. Have I set myself up to fail now?
  2. Friday night. It is such a lovely thing when the faces of people you love and admire light up when they see you and you know they are not faking it. And a hug from Drew is just the loveliest thing!
  3. Meeting new people and learning new things. This is my 7th Eroticon and several of the people I used to talk to regularly, especially in the Bristol days, no longer come.  But there are always new faces and it is brilliant that so many of the new faces contribute so much and have such an impact. Is it really only 3 years ago that Coffee and Kink turned up as a nervous newbie? Seeing how she has blossomed as a writer and blogger reminds me of what this event can do for people and, indeed, what it has done for me.

Sadly with a change of venue this year for the Friday night meet and greet we won’t be compiling a play list but I know that everyone enjoys that bit so…. What is a song that always makes you want to dance?


Maybe not dance but had there been a playlist I would have wanted to commemorate Ian Dury who died on 27th March 2000. And his smuttiest song is undoubtedly Billericay Dickie. “She took me to the cleaners and other misdeameanours” . Actually I think I could dance to this!,

What is the best book you have read in the last 12 months?

Not an easy read but Milkman by Anna Burns, set in a nationalist area of Belfast during the Troubles and an insight into the oppressive, claustrophobic and deeply misogynistic environment that people had to live in, where women’s lives were closely policed, where the narrator is regarded with deep suspicion  as a woman who reads literary fiction and attends a French class in the city centre, where she meets people from the “other side” .A difficult read but a worthwhile one.

As you sit writing this post what are three things you are grateful for?

1. The friends who keep me from black despair in these desperate times for all of us who value freedom, tolerance and diversity.

2. Health and a full head of hair.

3.  The mysteries of evolution that led from the primordial soup to the female body and the unfathomable beauty of the vulva. And that we now have a museum to celebrate this.

What is your mobile (cellphone) wallpaper or home screen image?

Marlene Dietrich in a Dior turban and the most exquisite leather gloves. But you know that my heart will always belong to her don’t you?

If someone gave you £5000 today which you were not allowed to save but had to spend within 24 hours what would you do with it?

Buy a Triumph Dolomite Sprint (which is still just about possible)

Complete the sentence:

I need.

A house with a wine cellar and a walk in wardrobe.

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