SoSS – Brexit Edition

So 2020, I was really not looking forward to you for reasons most of my readers will be aware of. As we approach Brexit day I can’t help reflecting that Brexit is not really about the actual institution of the European Union but rather about using an imagined EU as a focus for a wide variety of grievances, with the aim of enabling a populist, authoritarian and socially conservative remodelling of our country and its institutions. This cannot be a good thing for those who identify as kinky, LGBTQ, or sex positive, notwithstanding that we have a Prime Minister who just can’t keep his cock in his trousers whenever he comes across a woman daft enough to want to sleep with him.

The last three years have taken a toll on my mental health, and not only mine. I totally recommend this post for the New Year by Posy who writes about January here

It was 6 years ago that I set foot in the fet scene thinking I was probably a sub. Just three months later a lady I met in a club evidently spotted something in me and invited me to join her in administering a spanking. This was a lifechanging  event and consequently I can very much relate to Nikki’s experience. She writes about her first femdom experience here.

Female submission is still a bit of an alien world to me even though I have got to know a number of femsubs both on the scene and through Eroticon and I  enjoy reading things written from a femsub perspective. I have had submissive women ask me for play and, in fact, have played on one occasion. But I do struggle to get into the dynamic even I find the idea really hot. It is said that reading can be both a genuine enhancement of experience and a means of self understanding. This  by Submissy is brilliant and the picture is just amazing.

It has been a while since I got around to visiting Victoria Blisse’s blog and I do love a poem.

And it is January, the longest, dreariest month, so it is nice to be reminded that summer is not so far away and Master’s Pleasing Bitch does it most enjoyably here

Now many of you will know that Posy Churchgate and I are good mates, sister in smut (and champagne!), in fact, and I really admire her writing. I make no apology for plugging her work on this blog and she is getting another mention this month.  This,  by a strange irony on the Sisters in Smut blog, is simply the best thing she has written.

There have been a number of reflective and thought provoking posts this months and The Other Livvy posted this amazing piece on sex after childbirth

I love pictures with a touch of humour so this by Molly really appealed to me.

Since emerging as a dominant on the fet scene I have explored a number of new kinks so I can relate to this by Floss

And this description of a visit to a pro dommme for an introduction to CP is also something I can totally relate to.  And I am so glad that MLSlavePuppet had such a positive experience.

There were a number of brilliant posts for Wicked Wednesday 400 including  the piece I have linked to above. I also enjoyed Love Lust London’s  excursion to mediaeval France  

and anything by Eye is worth a read such as this . I can say that I have experienced every one of the fears and insecurities she mentions. I will say two things. I first spoke to Eye at my first Eroticon 2014 and we have been in regular contact ever since. I admire her as a brilliant writer, as a woman who  is an inspiration to all older women. Sexy after the M word? You bet and you can be fucking hot too. I also admire her for her strength. She has had a lot of shit to put up with and has come out fighting. She is a valued member of our community. But this is a community that values all its members.  And before I get on to my monthly dose of car porn for you my parting thought is this:

The 31st January 2020 will not go down as an auspicious day in the history of our country. It marks a triumph of populist demagoguery over reason, lies over truth, prejudice over tolerance. It marks, too, the arrival of US style culture wars on our shores. For our community of bloggers, many of whom are LGBT or kinky or poly or a combination of these, who embrace an ethical and positive approach to sex, who celebrate all forms of consensual sexuality  as a source of joy and liberation, there are dark times ahead. We must stick together, for we need each other. TOGETHER WE ARE STRONG

And what of car porn? Going back to 1980 one of the cars I desired was the Mk 2 Ford Escort RS2000 which ceased production that year. But I also had a soft spot for the Talbot Sunbeam Lotus, a worthy successor to the Ford/Lotus collaborations of a decade earlier. Here  are three of them in the 1980 RAC Rally with some amazing driving by winner Henri Toivonen.

Last Piece In The Jigsaw

This is the 400th Wicked Wednesday and Marie has asked me to take part via a tweet so it would be wrong not to. So I have a few reflections on the last 8 years of my life and how the jigsaw fell into place, how the pieces of sex, kink and vintage fashion came together in unexpected ways.

Sexual intercourse was discovered in 1963 according to Philip Larkin, not too late for me as I was one year old at the time. However, it took until 2012 for sex to become a defining interest. I don’t know why. I just had an urge one day to write a smutty story. By the end of the year I had started this blog and begin to engage with like-minded people online. In March 2013 I spent a weekend at the computer reading live tweets from Eroticon and wondering why I wasn’t there. I put that right the following year. I began to experiment with my own sexuality and get a feeling for how restricting my previous cisheteronormative assumptions had been. There were world to be discovered and I am enjoying the journey of discovery, knowing that I have barely scratched the surface.

Kink wise I soon began to move on from my initial assumption that I must be a submissive.  It was one Saturday afternoon in April 2014 that I attended a spanking party at a club. After giving me an enjoyable flogging, the house domme invited me to join her in dealing with her next spankee. And I loved it, every bit of it, holding the implements in my hand,  teasing my victim, making the most satisfying thud as the paddle landed. MY kink life would never be the same again. This tied in perfectly with my changing gender identity. From femdom I embarked on a journey that led back to femdom. This is my home on the kink scene.

You won’t have met Claire yet but you will soon. She is my favourite character in my writing, a sassy girl of 21 who lives the vintage life 24/7 and likes sex. In my story she embarks on a man hunt and has lots of sex on the way, some good, some disastrous. But always in a 50s outfit, and often on the vinyl (very handy!) seats of her 1959 Ford Zodiac. When I began the story I knew very little about vintage fashion so I started reading Vintage Life magazine, joining  Facebook groups and, before long, I had a couple of Vivien of Holloway dresses and had attended my first meetups, meeting wonderful ladies who are now amongst my best friends. And this is not an add on to my sexual side. It is part of me. the whole me. After I first attended a fet event in a vintage dress I received a lovely message on Fetlife from a friend who said that, for her, that dress was the final piece in the jigsaw.

Actually not quite. That came when I headed to Bristol  for my first Eroticon and met so may amazing writers and bloggers in the flesh and realised that I had found a new family.  Which is why I am here now, still blogging away, and looking forward to my seventh  Eroticon. And to think I didn’t do any of this until I turned 50.

Dear reader, however old you are, it is never too late to put your own jigsaw into place. I wish you luck.

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

The Key To His Soul

“Control a man’s cock and you have the key to his soul.”

As I left the hotel and set off in search of a restaurant, I kept repeating this over to myself.  The session had not gone quite as I had planed it.  I was more intuitive and spontaneous in those days.  As I sat in the armchair I was using for a throne, one booted leg folded over the other, observing him with my best poker face, the idea came to me like a flash.

I had never sessioned with Steve before.  He was a little nervous but clearly deeply submissive. After a little humiliation play and an over the knee spanking I saw him get hard. His cock was magnificent, it jutted out ramrod straight, and I could have sworn it was pulsing with anticipation. An idea came to my mind. Such an amazing member needed taming.

“Play with yourself for my entertainment” I ordered him.

He complied eagerly, too eagerly,  so I added

“You are not to come until I give you permission.”

He looked worried by this as he had come quickly to the brink of ejaculation.

There he was to remain. He slowed and stopped.

“Did I say stop? Did I?”

“No Mistress.”

“Keep wanking then.”

“But I am about to come Mistress.”

“Is that my problem? I ordered you to wank and not to come. Get on with it!”

“Yes Mistress.”

I saw fear and anguish in his eyes and felt a rush of sadistic elation as I sat, expressionless, enjoying his torment. He was trying so hard, to obey, tensing his body, contorting his limbs into the weirdest shapes as he fought against his own body, fought out of fear of the punishment I might inflict, or oit of his need, as as submissive man, to please me. And I knew then that he would do anything for release.

But I was not yet ready for that. And I made him suffer for a few more minutes before moving on to my kinky dance class.   At the end of the session I permitted him release. He knelt before me ad came in torrents over my boots, before greedily licking them clean. He had learnt his lesson well.  He understood that release is a reward not a right.  And I realized that sadism is not only about canes and clamps.  Get inside a submissive’s  head and the possibilities are endless.

As it turned out I never sessioned with Steve again. He got in touch a few months later to ask for a session. I replied to say that I was happy to see him but reminded him that he was getting a two hour session with me that, if he went to a professional he would probably be paying north of £200 for.  I didn’t want money but as I would be putting my free time into planning and conducting the session, a small gift would be appreciated, specifically a bottle of my favourite malt whisky.  I never heard from him again.  That, I like to think, is his loss. But if I were to see him again I know I hold the key to his soul.

This is a post for masturbation Monday. Click on the image below for more masturbatory delights.

Masturbation Monday



A week ago, a grey plastic package arrived in the post. I ripped it open to find my first subscriber copy of Diva magazine. I suppose it is a sad reflection of our times that it is necessary for the magazine to be sent out in such packaging, in a way that my copies of Private Eye are not. But shame and stigma are still the lived experience of many LGBT people. And this is something I can relate to. It was seven years ago that I bought my first copy, blushing furiously as I approached the till.  There are still shops where DIVA is tucked away far from the women’s lifestyle magazines where it really belongs

I soon fell in love with the magazine, with its varied and interesting features, its high quality of writing, (OK they are still to accept a pitch from me but I live in hope!)   , but above all for its generosity and inclusiveness. For DIVA is both bi- and trans- positive. This stance, particularly on trans issues, has brought it a lot of criticism, and has alienated some long-term readers, but the editors, Jane Czyzelska and for the last year or so, Carrie Lyell, have stuck to their guns. And then there were the amazing sex issues. I have kept all of these, there were hot photoshoots, one of which inspired a story on this blog, there was flash fiction, there were features from which I learnt so much. For a time, the amazing Anna Sansom was sex editor. Anna is the best friend I have never met. We have been engaging online for over 7 years now, she encouraged in the early days of my blog, and was a virtual ear for my experiences as I belatedly discovered myself sexually and began to explore BDSM.  It was Anna who made me aware of Fetlife. And Anna, if you are reading this, 2020 will be the year we finally meet. If you don’t make it to Eroticon I will be heading down your way. It is high time we had coffee and cake together, or maybe gin?

Anna gets a mention in the current issue because the sex edition is back after an absence of a few years. And it is a brilliant issue, not least because it includes the sexual experiences of those for whom sex is unusually problematic, transgender, genderqueer and intersex people. There was much that I can relate to my own experience. Reading it, I became aware of how much I have grown in the few years and how much Diva has helped me on my journey. I feel genuine excitement when I open a new issue, I feel too a sense of belonging to a community of amazing women.

The only downside is that I tend to read it in one sitting and then feel empty until the next one arrives. If you have never read it, do. You will not regret it, however you identify in terms of gender or sexuality. For as they headlined my letter many years ago,

“Diva is for everyone.”